


What's the scariest thing he could say?

by canigowithoutausername



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Communication matters guys, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, because they deserve to be together and I can't wait for the writers to deliver, let's assume this is late season 3 or early season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22441183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canigowithoutausername/pseuds/canigowithoutausername
Summary: Why communication matters and what is the scariest thing Buck could say to Eddie if the latter decides to confess his feelings to him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 7
Kudos: 182





	What's the scariest thing he could say?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I'm at it again. Hope I got them right, no one is really OOC and you enjoy it :)

“What’s the scariest thing Buck could say?”

“I don’t want to have a kid with you” Eddie mumbles, his fingers rolling the sugar packs back and forth so much he’s close to turning them into dust. He’s not sure who started the conversation or how it really got to this point but yeah. There is no turning back now. The honesty has overtaken his body and thus, the words left his mouth. Eddie won’t lie, hearing them out loud only makes his fear intensify. 

He is so far gone for his best friend that he really doesn’t know what he will do if worst comes to worst and Buck is just like “not been there, not done that but still, it’s a no from me”. At this point in life and their relationship, Eddie can’t imagine a moment where Buck won’t be by his side smiling goofily or reciting the newest fact he read on his midnight google quest for natural disaster trivia. 

Okay, realistically he can imagine a life without Buck but also realistically he most definitely wouldn’t enjoy a life without Buck. He’s sure his son would be even more upset if Buck isn’t a constant in their lives anymore. So yeah, blurting out his feelings to Hen is one thing but blurting them to the man himself? Well, that’s whole ‘nother wheelhouse and Eddie cannot deal with the aftermath of “I don’t want to have a kid with you”.

He can’t be sure Buck thinks this way but he can’t be sure he doesn’t think either. What if co-parenting is fine as long as there are no strings attached? How can there be no strings attached if you are co-parenting a kid though? 

Anxiety is no one’s best friend, and definitely not Eddie’s right now.

“Oh hun, do you seriously think that man isn’t already beyond heads over heels for you and your son? I swear to God-” Hen is about to say something else but sees Buck approaching and cuts herself off. 

She’s about to leave them alone so those dumbasses can finally communicate as the fucking adults they are. Spare everyone their bi drama, but then Buck has the audacity to word vomit the most stupid thing ever known to man. And by man she means Eddie.

“You’re right...” Buck’s voice comes behind Eddie, soft as a whisper but the surprise that comes with it makes Eddie jumps out of his skin. He didn’t see him and Hen definitely didn’t let him know and now she wishes more than anything to have had the good sense and said something. Because who the fuck would’ve thought?

Not her!

That’s for fucking sure.

Well, Eddie’s busted, that’s for fucking sure too.

But also wait, what?!

“I don’t want to have a kid with you” Buck starts off again looking shy and kinda guilty. He didn’t mean to interrupt their conversation. He swears to God that it wasn’t his intention. He only saw that Eddie was looking miserable and more than anything on this world Buck wanted to make him smile. Yeah, they have, okay maybe just him has reached that point where he would’ve traded his soul so he could make his best friend happy. Haunted wasn’t a good look for him. Smiling Eddie was soft and adorable, with a boyish spark. Smiling Eddie should be the constant, not this haunted, uneasy Eddie that had his eyebrows scrunched and eyes cloudy. 

So yeah, fast forward to him eavesdropping on Hen’s and Eddie’s conversation and then his brain getting the better of his mouth and uttering that ridiculous sentence; which to be fair was the fucking truth and he stays behind it.

Buck most definitely didn’t want to have a kid with him and God, wasn’t that the most awful thing Eddie could hear? He looked like the life was sucked out of him but at least, the surprise wasn’t there anymore. He was right to expect what he expected and just looked at Hen with a knowing look and a tired smirk. 

“I told you…”

“Buckaroo, I swear to-” she starts but Buck doesn’t even bat an eye at her and starts talking over her as soon as he registered Eddie’s withdrawn expression.

“I don’t want to have a kid with you, I want to have _your_ kid with _you!_ " 

Hen does a double-take. She didn’t expect the conversation to get from zero to here so quickly so she does the best thing she can come up with at the moment and just leaves. A quick nod to Buck, mouthing ‘Fix this’ pointing to a devastated Eddie and three steps backwards is all she needs to leave them to their own devices and hope for the best.

“Eddie…” Buck whispers, voice soft again but this time there’s no guilt lacing his words. He steps closer to his best friend, putting a hand on his shoulder and turning him sideways so they can be facing each other. Buck takes the unoccupied stool next to Eddie and slouches a bit, trying to look into his eyes.

“Hey now,” He repeats, a finger underneath Eddie’s chin and a second later Eddie’s unsure gaze meets his. “I’m sorry I came in and barged into your conversation but I couldn’t stop myself. You looked so miserable that-”

Eddie gathers all the courage he can muster and decides to interrupt Buck before it is too late. He needs to know fucking immediately what Buck meant by “I don’t want to have a kid with you, I want to have _your_ kid with _you_!” He can’t be serious, right? His hearing must be playing jokes on him. Maybe he’s having a really vivid nightmare that decided last minute to turn into just a regular vivid dream. Yeah, that must be it. There isn’t any other possible explanation.

“Evan, stop! Take a breath and please go back to ‘I want to have your kid with you, please’” he didn’t mean to sound so hopeful but he couldn’t help it. For all his pessimistic thinking his mouth is the one always blurting things with the most optimism possible.

“I, yeah. I’m not sure I can have any kid with you besides your own because I have fallen impossibly and irrevocably in love with you and Chris. Like, both of you hold a part of my heart and there is none left for me. Good thing I trust you both with it.” Buck smiles quickly like he really wasn’t trying to but the smile found him anyways. 

“I want to have your kid with you, Eddie. I want to wake up with you and take him to school, then come back home and take a nap together and go pick him up. I wanna have dinners with you guys, throw pyjama parties and dance to the latest most ridiculous Disney song there is in the middle of your living room. I want the parent-teacher conferences, the mid-term breaks, the seasonal flu and everything in-between and after that. I want it all, and I want you; and most definitely your son. So yeah, if my eavesdropping is correct, you, Eddie Diaz cannot get rid of me anytime soon because I love you. Both. You and Chris, and you better believe it!”

His fingers are still holding Eddie’s chin, and his eyes are now piercing in their determination. Buck looks ready to argue if Eddie decides to do anything but sigh in relief; because yeah, now he gets why his partner looked so tormented.

Eddie looks unconvinced, wants to say something back to argue but hope blooms in his chest so hot and heavy that he is lost for words. The only thing he can do is nod and release a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Okay, maybe he did. But for a moment there, he really thought that having a kid would be a dealbreaker and Buck would have just slipped through his fingers; and now? Now, Eddie got to do the one thing he wanted since this whole mess of a conversation started.

He leaned in and locked his lips with Buck’s and that? That felt like fucking going home! He has been dreaming about it for so long that he really didn’t care there were still in the middle of the station’s kitchen; and Eddie was pretty sure they had an audience but he couldn’t care less. He got to kiss Buck, in front of people, without a worry.  
Somewhere between all the kisses, Buck has stood up taking him with. Eliminating any space between them so he could tilt his head up a bit and kiss the living breath out of him. A thing Eddie was more than okay with.

“Hey” Buck whispered once they came out for air. His pupils blown and a wonderful shade of pink dusting his cheekbones. A well kissed Buck was a sight to behold.

“Hi” was all Eddie could muster. His brain was a bit lust foggy, his lips kiss swollen and a sappy smile playing on his face. God, he never ever wanted to leave Buck’s embrace ever again.

“Come over the house later? Have dinner with us?” he sounded hopeful but still a bit unsure. However, the look of pure adoration that overtook Buck’s face followed by his rushed “I’d love to” was all the reassurance he needed.

-

Later, after they’ve eaten dinner and baked some cookies just because Buck was in the mood and Chris loved to help after they cleaned the mess and put the leftovers away after everything that has happened today and the night started to settle in, they found themselves sitting on the bathroom floor listening to a content Chris playing with his Lego figures in the bathtub. 

Neither was paying his full attention to Chris’ chatter, both too busy to shoot glances at each other and smile shyly. As if they didn’t spend the first ten minutes of Chris’ bath time on the couch making out as if the world was ending tomorrow and they wouldn’t have enough time. 

“Hey buddy, I think it’s time for PJs and bed,” Eddie said softly after a while. His son looked at him before nodding and started to leave the toys to drop back into the water.

Eddie stood up helping Chris out of the bath and before he could say a word or ask Buck, Buck was already up, holding a towel wrapping it around the kid, snuggling him close to his chest.

“Okay, Superman, bedtime?” He looked down at Chris nuzzling his nose into his damp curls smiling when he heard him giggle instead giving him a reply. Buck dropped a quick kiss to his head and opened his mouth to say something else but Eddie beat him to it.

“I love you!” It came out simple and sweet, with no rush behind it. Eddie’s voice was steady and calm and his eyes were saying everything else he might’ve forgotten to tell Buck over the course of the day. Thank god for silent communication.

“I love you too!” Buck smiled at him with his son snuggled cosily into his embrace. Oh God, if anyone ever wondered what heaven looked like, Eddie would just show them a picture of both Buck and Chris after bath time. 

“And by the way? This! _This_ is what I want, _this_ kid! _With you!_ ”

“Oh, _Evan_!” You know when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth and now? With Eddie? 

Buck never felt safer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading you lovely peeps! Comments, kudos and just general fangirling is always welcome <3
> 
> P.S. yeah, I know, I'm not the best when it comes to writing kisses. Sorry about that!


End file.
